Hey that was really good, had me laughing out loud.
Will there be a part two?
Lemme hear your thoughts. It's a short one. [img]wink.gif[/img]
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FADE IN:
EXT. NEBRASKA FARM-NIGHT
It is raining and wind is blowing in gusts. RONNY and RHONDA run out of the house, in the direction of the cellar door. Ronny throws open the door. Rhonda stops.
RHONDA
Wait. I have to go back.
RONNY
Come on honey, they said that there was a confirmed touch down.
RHONDA
But my pictures.
RONNY
Hurry
She runs inside and emerges with a box in hand.
RONNY
You never look at those.
RHONDA
I do too. All the time. You just never notice.
She descends into the cellar. He moves toward the house. She exits.
RHONDA
And where are you going?
RONNY
Dad?s ashes.
He enters the house and exits with an urn.
RHONDA
Why do you need those? The man?s already dead.
RONNY
He wanted a proper scattering.
RHONDA
Five years ago.
He enters the cellar. She moves into the house and exits, a box of video tapes in hand. She passes him as he exits the cellar.
RONNY
And what?s that?
RHONDA
I spent my whole life collecting these. You know how much I love the theatre.
She enters the cellar. He enters the house and exits with an armful of Husker memorabilia. She exits the cellar.
RHONDA
And what?s that?
RONNY
I spent my whole life collecting these. You know how much I love the Big Red.
He enters the cellar. She enters the house and exits with a VCR. He exits the cellar.
RONNY
Honey, that?s not gonna work without a television.
RHONDA
Then go get it.
She enters the cellar. He enters the house and exits with a tv in hand. She exits the cellar.
RHONDA
Put it in the corner, by the vcr.
RONNY
You never watch half those movies.
RHONDA
I do too.
He enters the cellar. She runs into the house and exits, carrying a stack of quilts. He exits the cellar.
RONNY
Honey, do you need those?
RHONDA
I knitted them myself. Can?t live without them.
She enters the cellar. He enters the house and comes out, carrying a giant tool case.
RHONDA
And what?s that?
RONNY
You know how I love working in the shop. I can?t live without my tools.
RHONDA
You never work in the shop.
RONNY
I would, if I had more time.
He enters the cellar. She enters the house and comes out carrying a coffee maker. He exits the cellar.
RONNY
Coffee?
RHONDA
We might get cold.
She enters the cellar. He enters the house and emerges carrying about twenty cartons of cigarettes. She exits the cellar.
RHONDA
Smoking?
RONNY
Goes great with coffee.
He enters the cellar. She goes into the house and comes out, carrying a box of nicotine patches. He exits the cellar.
RHONDA
I told you that I wanted you to quit.
She enters the cellar. He enters the house and emerges, carrying a treadmill. She exits the cellar.
RONNY
And I told you that I wanted you to lose weight.
He enters the cellar. She enters the house and emerges with a case of energy bars. He exits the cellar.
RHONDA
If I?m going to lose weight, I need these.
She enters the cellar. He enters the house and comes out, carrying a box of cds.
RONNY
You might need help working out.
He enters the cellar. She enters the house, cd player in hand. He exits the cellar.
RHONDA
Go get the speakers.
She enters the cellar. He enters the house and emerges, carrying two speakers. She exits the cellar.
RHONDA
My babies.
He enters the cellar. She goes into the house and exits with an armful of beanie babies. He exits the cellar.
RONNY
My babies.
She enters the cellar. He goes into the house and emerges, carrying an armful of porno magazines. She exits the cellar.
RHONDA
I thought I told you to throw those away.
RONNY
I might get feeling frisky down there.
RHONDA
Ever thought of asking your wife for some sex?
RONNY
You might have a headache.
He enters the cellar. She enters the house and emerges, carrying sexy lingerie. He exits the cellar.
RHONDA
For you, in case you feel frisky.
She throws them into the cellar and slips a pair of panties on, over her clothes. He enters the house and exits, carrying a jar of aspirin.
RONNY
For you, in case you have a headache.
He hands her an aspirin. She dry swallows and he throws the jar into the cellar. She runs inside and emerges with a cellphone base.
RHONDA
In case the phone runs out. I want to keep in touch.
She enters the cellar. He goes into the house and emerges with a computer and monitor.
RONNY
I too want to keep in touch.
He enters the cellar. A cat blows by.
RHONDA
Mr. Whiskers!!!
She catches the cat. He exits the cellar.
RONNY
Oh my God, how did we almost forget him?
RHONDA
Poor baby. Honey, go inside and get him some food.
Rhonda enters the cellar, carrying the cat. Ronny enters the house and emerges, carrying a bag and several cans of cat food. She exits the cellar.
RONNY
Wasn?t sure if he should have soft or hard food.
RHONDA
He might need to poopy poop.
She runs into the house. He enters the cellar. She emerges, carrying a litter box. He exits the cellar.
RONNY
What if he runs out of litter?
RHONDA
Go get him some.
RONNY
On it.
She enters the cellar. He enters the house and comes out with a bag of kitty litter. She exits the cellar.
RONNY
Shit. Forgot the scoop.
RHONDA
I?ll get it.
He enters the cellar. She enters the house and comes out with the scoop and a garbage bag. He exits the cellar.
RHONDA
Thought we might need this for the poopy poop.
RONNY
Good thinking, dear.
She enters the cellar. He enters the house and comes out with a bottle of wine. She exits the cellar.
RHONDA
Good idea. What year?
RONNY
1948.
RHONDA
1949 was a better year.
RONNY
I prefer 1948.
RHONDA
?49.
RONNY
?48.
RHONDA
Hmphh.
He enters the cellar. She enters the house and comes out with a bottle of wine. He exits the cellar.
RHONDA
?49.
She enters the cellar. He enters the house and emerges with a corkscrew and some bread. She exits the cellar.
RONNY
Thought we might need these.
RHONDA
My love. You?re so smart.
He enters the cellar. She enters the house and emerges with a wheel of cheese and a knife. He exits the cellar.
RONNY
Ahhhh, good idea.
She enters the cellar. He enters the house, carrying a tiny Buddha. She exits the cellar.
RHONDA
Why that?
RONNY
We might need to rub his belly for luck.
RHONDA
Okay.
He enters the cellar. She enters the house and emerges, carrying a diploma. He exits the cellar.
RONNY
Why do you need that?
RHONDA
Why do I need this? Hello?!?! Doctorate. These aren?t free, you know. 10 years of education for this piece of paper. Not gonna just throw it down the drain.
She enters the cellar. He enters the house and emerges with an Academy Award statuette. She exits the cellar.
RHONDA
Oh my God. I should have known you?d need your little Oscar.
RONNY
Quit being jealous. Can you read it? Best actor. They don?t just hand these out, you know.
RHONDA
They do too. Well, if you have it, don?t expect me to dust it. Ooh, I need my Nobel.
He enters the cellar. She enters the house and emerges, carrying a Nobel Prize. He exits the cellar.
RONNY
Good idea, dear. That?s irreplaceable.
She enters the cellar. He enters the house and exits, carrying a Bible. She exits the cellar.
RONNY
Thought we might need this.
She looks into the cellar.
RHONDA
No room. Nice thought, though.
He throws the Bible on the ground.
RHONDA
One more thing.
She runs into the house and emerges with a microwave and popcorn bag.
RONNY
Great idea. This will be fun. Like a campout.
She puts the microwave in the cellar. He looks off into the horizon.
RONNY
Oh baby, I see the twister. It?s coming this way.
RHONDA
Where?
He points.
RHONDA
We better get underground.
Both move to the cellar and can?t enter as their stuff is piled all the way to the entrance.
RONNY
Honey. Get in there.
RHONDA
I can?t. No room.
RONNY
Let?s throw something of yours out.
RHONDA
I can?t!!! I need all that!!!! I can?t live without it!!! Let?s toss something of yours.
RONNY
I need everything I have down there. Can?t live without it either.
The wind picks up. The two embrace and watch as the tornado approaches.
FADE OUT
Hey that was really good, had me laughing out loud.
Will there be a part two?
<font size="4" face="Arial">Nah, that's all of it. Am leaving their fate in the hands of the reader. However, if a tornado's coming right at you and you're in the open.... [img]wink.gif[/img] Just sayin'. Am glad you enjoyed. Anybody else?Originally posted by Hairglamfan:
Hey that was really good, had me laughing out loud.
Will there be a part two?
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